My personal observation: People I’ve seen succeed most consistently in long-term sobriety often move toward a model along the lines of SMART Recovery-one that emphasizes personal responsibility, rejects helplessness, and focuses on making better decisions daily. In contrast, AA/12-Step sometimes keeps people stuck in a cycle of dependency.
If you’re thinking about transitioning out of AA into a more self-empowered approach like SMART Recovery, here’s a step-by-step guide to doing it safely and effectively.
1. Start Layering SMART Recovery Before You Leave AA ⎇
Why: Abruptly quitting AA can be destabilizing if it’s your only support. Adding SMART tools first gives you a solid behavioral foundation.
- Attend a SMART Recovery meeting weekly (online or in person) Find meetings here
- Get a copy of the SMART Recovery Handbook
- Practice tools like:
- ABC journaling (CBT)
- Cost-Benefit Analysis
- Urge Surfing
- Stages of Change model
- check out all tools here
Think of this as cross-training: you’re not “quitting AA,” you’re “adding SMART.”
2. Build Internal Locus of Control 🧠
SMART encourages the idea that you are in control of your choices. To shift from the AA belief in “powerlessness,” begin reframing your thinking:
- “I made better choices today because I chose to.”
- “My cravings are real, but I don’t have to obey them.”
- “Sobriety is a set of decisions, not an identity.”
This helps rebuild personal agency, a powerful antidote to dependency.
3. Restructure Your Support System 🧑🤝🧑
AA offers built-in community (sponsors, meetings). Leaving means you need to replace, not erase, that support.
- Work with a therapist (preferably CBT- or ACT-trained)
- Hire a recovery coach (secular or clinical)
- Engage with peer support via SMART forums, Reddit (e.g., r/stopdrinking), or trusted friends
4. Define Your Own Recovery Philosophy 🧭
Break free from “one-path” dogma and ask:
- What does sobriety mean to me now?
- Do I still identify as “in recovery” or is this just “how I live”?
- What am I building, beyond not drinking/using?
This creates momentum and vision — not just maintenance.
5. Let Go of Guilt About Moving On 🕊️
AA culture sometimes references fear-based narratives like:
- “People who leave relapse.”
- “You’re being prideful.”
- “The disease is cunning and waiting for you.”
Reframe these as belief systems, not universal truths. You’re not betraying anyone by growing in your recovery. You’re honoring what’s working, and outgrowing what isn’t.
6. Watch for Dependency Transfer 📉
Many people replace substance dependency with:
- Meeting addiction
- Sponsor idolization
- Ideological rigidity
Moving to SMART may uncover emotional gaps. Fill them by building:
- Self-soothing skills
- Emotional regulation (with CBT tools)
- Independent decision-making confidence
When Not to Transition (Yet) ⚠️
Hold off on leaving AA/12 Steps if:
- You’re newly sober (<6 months)
- You’re in emotional crisis or high instability
- You lack an external support system
Stabilize first. AA and 12 Steps are undeniably good at this stage.
Learning tools for emotional regulation are key.
Stabilize. Then evolve.
Final Thought 🧩
You don’t need to reject the past to grow from it. AA may have saved your life.
SMART Recovery might help you live it fully. Both can serve different needs at different stages.
Your recovery, your rules.